Chuck Bass – Stalker Edition
by SimplyShelbySJL
Summary: "Chuck, you can't stab him with a fork. He's not—" "I'm just going to talk to him, Nathaniel. We're going to have a nice little chat about what happens to someone's hands when they touch what doesn't belong to them," Chuck interrupted with a crazed smirk.


Title: _**Chuck Bass – Stalker Edition**_

Author: Shelby

Summary: "Chuck, you can't stab him with a fork. He's not—" "I'm just going to talk to him, Nathaniel. We're going to have a nice little chat about what happens to someone's hands when they touch what doesn't belong to them," Chuck interrupted with a crazed smirk.

A/N: This one is humorous and sweet. I hope you enjoy it. Also, thank you for all the support I got after having to deal with that troll of a reviewer on my last one-shot. Let's just say I had fun getting my small dose of revenge with this story. Tell me if you can find it.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

"You realize this is ridiculously obsessive right?" Nate asked with his eyebrows raised. He looked to Chuck with a deep sense of concern. There was no way his friend could be serious. Sure, he had agreed to ask Blair who she was seeing and perhaps spent a night with Chuck in the limo outside her house, but it seemed like it was time to draw the line. Chuck Bass was officially stalking Blair Waldorf.

"I just want to see what type of guy she goes for tonight," Chuck told him as he sipped his drink. Then he sat up in his booth some and peered through the plants. His eyes zoned in on Blair at the bar. "Her dress is a tad too revealing. I thinks he borrowed it from Serena," he noted.

"Chuck, Serena is a giant compared to Blair. There's no way it's her dress. However, you going as far as to make notes on her wardrobe has me thinking you've done this several times before," the blond said with a sarcastic smile.

The dark haired boy rolled his eyes and stayed with his task. He watched as some Brad Pitt Wannabe wondered over to her. He scoffed and shook his head. "Please, like she's going to go for this guy. Blair does not like the pretty boys. Muscle heads who date easy girls like Melissa at Midnight Motel."

"Yeah, she only dated me all throughout high school," Nate mumbled, but of course was ignored. He then decided just to humor Chuck and started to sit up in his seat too. "Are we talking Brad Pitt now or the Troy and Fight Club days?"

"Unfortunately the Troy and Fight Club days. You know girls should consider that the guys with nice abs are douches. He is not going to treat her right. I'd rather hear she was giving freebees to the skinny jean wearers down at the coffee shop than someone like him," Chuck complained. He motioned towards the man and shook his head in disgust.

"Well they do show everything," his best friend chuckled. When Chuck only muttered his annoyance in return though, Nate sighed. "Oh he's leaning in. Look where those lips are going. This is a Code Red, Chuck," he smirked.

"What is he doing? What is she doing? Blair, do not let him put his filthy lips on your skin. That is my neck, Nathaniel. What do I have to do, tattoo it?" Chuck seethed. He clenched his fists at his side.

"I think you should go all caveman on him. Drag him outside and throw some punches. Then you can be all my Blair, oogah oogah," Nate joked.

"Wow, you're so funny. I can see how Serena who laughs at the word pudding found you some amusing," he drawled in the most condescending of voices. Chuck then turned to him and smirked.

"Well it wouldn't work anyways. That guy would clearly kick your bowtie wearing ass to the corner," Nate returned. Chuck glared at him and then finished off the rest of his drink. It was definitely going to be a long night.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

Two hours later, Chuck and Nate slumped down in the booth. They watched with flat expressions as Blair and the muscle head danced. The guy continued to try and grope her ass as he pulled her towards him. Blair would giggle and try to move away as casually as she could.

"Where are you going?" Nate asked suddenly. He looked to see Chuck getting up. His friend also picked up the fork from the table.

Chuck got a determined, but evil look on his face as he tried to get out of the booth. "I'm just going to talk to him—"

"Chuck, you can't stab him with a fork. He's not—" Nate tried his best to hold back the brunette.

"I'm just going to talk to him, Nathaniel. We're going to have a nice little chat about what happens to someone's hands when they touch what doesn't belong to them," Chuck interrupted. He then tried to sprint, clearly drunk at that point, but Nate yanked him back.

"No, it's time for us to go home, Chuck. This has gone on too long. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you and Blair, but she's moving on. She thought you did too with that whole Eva stunt. Little does she know…" he mumbled. He then started to pull his friend out the door.

Chuck however, was still trying to walk past Nate and back into the club. He could see Blair through the glass doors. He felt his blood boil when the man put his jacket around her shoulders. She had her own damn jacket! She didn't need his! He then noticed they were going to come outside though. He quickly tried to act normal and turned to smile at Nate.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Nate pressed with a skeptical expression. He turned to look inside, but Chuck grabbed his cheeks. He pulled away and scoffed. "Okay, you're really drunk, man."

The door opened and Blair's laughter was heard. Her and her new friend didn't notice Chuck or Nate. Instead they stood just a few feet away as they waited for a cab on the curb.

Nate's eyes widened. He turned to see Chuck as he looked directly at them and smirked evilly. He was just waiting for their attention.

"Chuck, don't look at him like you're calling him out. Stop it, stop it, stop it," Nate begged in hushed tones. He tried to pull on Chuck's jacket, but the dark haired boy wouldn't budge.

"I'll look at him," Chuck nodded with an even larger smirk. He then cracked his knuckles and tipped his chin up in an arrogant fashion.

The guy was smiling, but then turned to see Chuck. He frowned, slightly confused and shook his head. "Do you have some kind of a problem, _friend_?" he asked.

"Actually—" Chuck started to proceed towards him, but was pulled back by the annoying blond he had always called his best friend.

Nate laughed nervously. The guy was even twice his size. "No, we don't have a problem. He is just very, very—"

"Nate? Chuck? Oh my God. Do I need to get a restraining order?" Blair interjected. Her eyes narrowed and ruby lips pursed. She did not seem happy that they were there, watching her, again.

"Against this guy, yes. Blair, he clearly only wants in your pants. Can't you see that? Come on, you did get into Columbia. Can we please just think about this? Anyone, but him and I'd be happy. Really anyone else, but this guy," Chuck went off in a drunken ramble as he motioned to the man.

"Excuse me?" Blair's new friend scoffed. He then went to move towards Chuck, but was stopped by Nate who got between them.

"Please, don't listen to him. He's clinically insane!" Nate shouted so that Chuck could hear him. But the dark haired boy did not seem to care.

"Anyone, but him? Bass, this is the sixteenth guy you've said anyone, but him. In the essence of saving time why don't you just rule out all of New York!" Blair screamed, completely frustrated. She was at her wits end. He had ruined every single date of hers since they returned from Paris.

Chuck opened his mouth to retort, but didn't get the chance.

"Blair, the cab is here. We should just go," the new guy sighed. He then walked towards them and looked down at Chuck, unimpressed.

Blair sighed and walked away from both of them as she shook her head. Instead, she found herself hitting Nate on the chest. "He's your best friend, Archibald! Go buy him a pair of twins or something! I'd like a life too, you know!" she shouted.

Chuck and the other man stayed where they were. They both glared at each other. But then the Bass boy smirked. "She's not going to go home with you. You're not special or even up to Blair Waldorf standards," he told him confidently.

The guy was not fazed though. Instead, he threw a smirk of his own at Chuck. "Then why was it so easy to reel her in? All I did was go up there and talk like normal. Next thing I know, your girl is all over me. Not to mention, when she let me grope that sweet little ass of—"

**XOXOXOXOXO**

Chuck didn't know what happened. He snapped. His fist shot upward, but didn't connect with the guy's jaw like he had planned. Instead, he blinked and felt someone knock him out. The next thing he knew, he opened his eyes and realized he was lying in his bed with a black eye and busted lip.

He saw a blurry vision of someone, a female. So he blinked a few times so the picture was clearer. And oh what a gorgeous view it was. Blair Waldorf leaned over him with a washcloth as she dabbed at his wounds.

"What happened?" Chuck asked in a groggy voice. Still, he managed to smile up at her. And in his mind he thought about how he technically had her in bed with him.

"You tried to attack someone twice your size for no good reason and he beat you to a pulp. There weren't any paramedics, but for someone who got shot weeks before in Prague, I think you'll survive," Blair sighed. She stroked back some of his dark hair.

He nodded and turned his face into her chest. The sweet scent of her shampoo overtook him. "Well at least you came to see me this time," he mumbled.

She rolled her eyes. "By the time I found out you were already being cared for by Eva. I think you damaged my pride enough when we were dating, Bass. I wasn't about to go down there so you could manage to humiliate me even when you couldn't walk," Blair retorted. She then moved as if to leave, but he grabbed her arm.

"No, don't go. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. St-stay here with me," he stuttered. It was then he realized he was still a bit intoxicated. It wasn't as bad as before, but he was bound to not be as smooth as usual.

"I'm thinking about it," Blair responded. She fell back on the bed and looked up at his ceiling. The moment his hand started to wonder though she kicked him. A giggle escaped her lips when he grunted and stopped.

"I'm only going to stalk you in my limo if you leave. It's what I'm good at," Chuck sighed once the pain let up. He then held his head up with his hand and stared down at her.

Blair smirked, "_If you weren't such a perve I'm sure the CIA would hire you in a second_." There was a bittersweet sound to her voice. The memory seemed like lifetimes ago, Junior year, even before the limo.

Chuck stroked his hand delicately down her cheek. He then leaned closer and looked deep into her eyes. "_Defending my country. Now there's a future I never imagined_," he repeated.

"How do you remember that?" she asked with a slight shake of her head. He was so close though and it was almost hard to concentrate. For the first time in a long time she felt the butterflies as they began to free themselves from their cocoons.

He lowered down until their lips were inches apart. He placed a soft kiss on them and then moved to whisper in her ear. "I remember everything when it comes to you, Waldorf."

Blair gasped as she felt her body trembled. She closed her eyes as he moved off of her. When she heard him go into the bathroom and shut the door, she opened them and sat up. "Then perhaps we're not completely lost, Bass," she breathed.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

A/N: I found this increasingly hard to write towards the end. Anyways, the past lines are from one of my FAVORITE Chuck and Blair moments. It shows that raw chemistry between them I love so much and personally haven't seen for a long time. Jesus Josh, why couldn't they scheme and have hot sex at all Season 4? But anyways, review with your thoughts.


End file.
